So Close, So Far
by diamondpearl876
Summary: For Victor, the days would simply blend together, never seeming to have a beginning or an end. .50 victor-centric sentences.


This was written for the 1character challenge at LiveJournal.

There's some swearing here, because, well, it's Victor.

I own nothing.

- x -

So Close, So Far

. one - blend

For Victor, the days would simply blend together, never seeming to have a beginning or an end.

. two - stain

While the rest of the staff went to each other in their times of need and stained each other's clothes with their tears, Victor would ignore them completely, because he felt that their problems were nothing but a burden to him.

. three - island

He would never admit it, but Victor was somewhat glad that he was stuck with the others at Caduceus, because if he was forced to be by himself on an island or anywhere else, there wouldn't have been anything to distract him from every flaw he possessed and every mistake he ever made.

. four - apple

He looked up to see an apple hanging from a tree; it seemed too high for him to reach, but he knew he could get it if he really tried to.

. five - paper

When he was younger, Victor would smile when there were no red marks of disapproval on any of his papers.

. six - relax

Victor only found it possible to relax when Sidney told him to, because he believed that Sidney was the only one who actually knew what he was talking about more than half of the time.

. seven - leaves

He glanced at the pile of leaves and wanted to hide under them and disappear, if only for a day--just to see if there would be a difference in the world when he returned.

. eight - proof

Victor believed that Stephen Clarks was proof that even the best could eventually be replaced, and Victor was determined to never allow that to happen to him.

. nine - ugly

Often, he would look in the mirror and think that the dark circles under his eyes and his unkempt hair were hideous, but it didn't matter, because he wasn't at Caduceus to impress anyone but himself.

. ten - book

"Maybe, instead of publishing small articles, you should make a book someday," Derek suggested once, and Victor had to force himself to not smile over the fact that someone had taken the time to acknowledge his talents, even during all of the chaos concerning GUILT.

. eleven - brood

Victor couldn't tell anyone his sister's favorite color, his brother's age, or anything simple like that because he had never taken the time to learn about either of them.

. twelve - mesh

Derek could never understand how Victor could work so diligently even when all of his chemicals were meshed together and difficult to distinguish from one another.

. thirteen - soft

"Don't be a fool and be soft toward others, or it will get you nowhere in life," Victor's father had told him once when he was younger, and the boy had believed him, along with every other demand and insult thrown at him.

. fourteen - shelf

While his classmates most likely possessed novels containing romance and drama and mysteries, Victor instead had countless amounts of shelves full of books pertaining to science and math.

. fifteen - alone

There were times where everyone else who worked at Caduceus was out partying or drinking together and Victor remained by himself to get more work done.

. sixteen - fall

Victor feared the day that he would fall and be unable to find a way to stand back up.

. seventeen - knot

Keeping his mouth shut and his tongue tied was not an option, Victor decided, because if he kept suppressing all of the fury and bitterness, he thought he might explode, which was a job he believed should be left for his experiments if something _had_ to shatter.

. eighteen - crowd

Sometimes, Victor would wonder if he could give speeches in front of crowds about his findings, but he didn't think he could do it without sounding uncaring and heartless when that wasn't how he really felt.

. nineteen - denial

_I promise you that I don't need anyone else._

. twenty - train

"Dr. Clarks had saved my sister once after she was in a train wreck," a boy had claimed proudly after being diagnosed with GUILT; Victor could only chuckle to himself, because, to him, that was nothing compared to what he was about to do.

. twenty-one - fur

The cat his family owned during his childhood was the closest friend Victor ever had.

. twenty-two - chrome

Victor wished that there was something like pigments based off of chromium that could change his obscure and bleak world of black and white.

. twenty-three - heart

When his heart first started beating wildly and he could feel the adrenaline flowing through his body when he was working with science materials, he finally knew what he was destined to do.

. twenty-four - intention

"I _really_ don't think Victor's intention is to hurt any of you guys," Sidney said desperately, and he could see in everyone's eyes that they didn't believe him.

. twenty-five - push

When he brought out his creations into the public, he had to watch others carefully to make sure that he wouldn't get pushed or knocked over, because _no one_ was going to ruin his chance to prove to the world that he had done the impossible once again.

. twenty-six - look

"Who are they?" Derek asked curiously as he looked at the photographs in Victor's hands; the man immediately hid them and said that they weren't important at all.

. twenty-seven - weight

It didn't matter to Victor that he was underweight; it contributed to his overall appearance which taught others not to underestimate those who looked weak on the outside.

. twenty-eight - spider

Sometimes, Victor wished he was a spider; they were hardly noticeable, and could hide without much difficulty, but then again, it would be too easy to bring him down.

. twenty-nine - robe

Because he was much younger than everyone else in his grade, his academic robes were always too small on him compared to everyone else's.

. thirty - umbrella

"You really should protect yourself from the rain, Victor," Angie said, shielding them both with her umbrella, and Victor couldn't help but wonder if she did it out of pity or because she really cared.

. thirty-one - surface

"There might be more to Victor than we know right now," Derek said to Angie once, and they agreed to keep trying to get through to the recluse, no matter what it took.

. thirty-two - idea

Derek had once told the man that it wasn't the greatest idea to bring any kind of food or drink into his lab while he was working; even after Victor had almost consumed one of his experiments due to being overly tired, he wouldn't admit that he was right.

. thirty-three - diamond

He would see the diamond rings placed upon the women's fingers and say to himself that would never need anything like that to make him satisfied with life.

. thirty-four - blind

"Are you _blind_?" was the harsh reaction to Tyler rambling into Victor's lab after he had specifically put up a sign on the door that requested no disturbances.

. thirty-five - flow

Sure, Victor hadn't gone along with everyone else during his school years and was never accepted for it, but at least he had his creations and millions of healthy people to make up for it.

. thirty-six - movement

He walked as if the world was his to control and command.

. thirty-seven - more

Victor hated Mondays more than any other day of the week, because it reminded him of _her_ and he was constantly frustrated because he couldn't focus on anything else.

. thirty-eight - honey

"Go fuck yourself," Victor would always say when Tyler dared to call him "honey", but it only seemed to encourage him to laugh and continue to make jokes that only he thought was amusing.

. thirty-nine - weather

Victor despised the snow because the white made it all so seem so pure and innocent, and it reminded him of what he had never been.

. forty - blue

"I don't think blue would be the right color to describe you, because blue is calm and peaceful," Derek had stated once and merely laughed, and Victor only mumbled in response, wondering why he couldn't think of the other meanings of the color--including melancholy and loneliness.

. forty-one - double

Victor got twice as much work done, was twice as more devoted, twice as more focused, and _still_, most of the praise was directed toward Derek Stiles.

. forty-two - braid

"Don't you think about doing that _ever_ again, you bastard," Victor demanded after Tyler had made the mistake of suggesting to braid the man's untidy hair.

. forty-three - thread

Victor hated roaming through the halls at Caduceus; he could smell the sick scent of death and he could feel the hope fading away and all that was left were the patients hanging on by a thread.

. forty-four - angles

"It's not really fair that you judge everyone but yourself, you know," Angie told Victor, but the man wasn't hearing any of it.

. forty-five - daydream

Victor felt that Derek and his friends could keep daydreaming and laughing and joking around with each other and with their patients all they wanted, but it wouldn't change the fact that reality would come find them sooner or later.

. forty-six - nightmare

The tired man said that sleep is for the weak, but he knew that he was only trying to hide from the nightmare where stricken family members would stare at him threateningly and scream, "You failed to do your job, and now, someone that meant the world to me is _dead_!"

. forty-seven - honor

Once, Victor thought about whether or not he would be willing to break any major rules despite the consequences; in the end, he decided that he would, only if it provided him with some kind of victory.

. forty-eight - palm

Victor decided that Linda Reid was his favorite patient to ever be hospitalized at Caduceus, because she had confirmed GUILT's existence and put the fate of the world right in the palm of his hand.

. forty-nine - screen

As he watched the surgery through the screen, Victor wondered why everyone around him was so nervous about the outcome when he was the one who had come up with the treatment for the disease the patient was suffering from.

. fifty - warmth

Victor wanted to reach out to someone, _anyone_, just to feel their warmth, because it was so very cold when he was wasting away down in his lab alone.


End file.
